'just a baby'

'your just a baby!' is No1 sons insult of choice to the darling diva at the moment, which is often followed by the retort 'I'm a big girl, I am!! - Eliza doolittle style!

And as I try to explain to them both, they will always be my babies so its not really a horrible thing to say, which is met by much eye tossing from the 1st child and much shouting from the 2nd!!!

But it does bring up the age old question 'when is a baby not a baby anymore?'

My brother and his fabbie wife have just had a beautiful baby girl and my hubbie is worried that I might become broody, in fact his actual words were 'Two is definitely enough Kate!'
I do love a baby.... they lay there so innocent looking relying on you to do everything, they smell divine, their skin is soft like a peach, they have tiny fingers and toes, they make soft meowing noises, God I could eat them!!!!!  so you see my hubbies concerns.

Obviously this is the outsiders view looking in. I can easily recall the projectile vomit, exploding nappies, colic, crying for hours (me not them) the rocking, feeding, cleaning, sterilising etc..... So I am not looking at the tiny bundles with rose coloured glasses, but when you can give them back they seem so much more squidgable!!

My two are now so fully into the independent stage - 'I can do it, I don't need your help' - I am beginning to feel redundant.  The diva insists on going to the toilet by herself now (only indoors obviously) and wiping her own bottom! (remember she is not three till the end of june)
I have continual fights to help her dress, eat, get in and out of the car etc.. she is even insisting on making her own lunch and trying to brush and dry her hair!  As i said 'redundant'!!
And don't get me started on No1 son - 'I go to school now, I can do it on my own' - except top buttons and ties of course!

Maybe their independence is what is scaring both me (they don't need me anymore!) and hubby (she must be feeling broody!!).

No1 son is trying to read the diva a bedtime story (thats my job, sob!!). The diva has not had a bottle for an absolute age (but I am still reluctant to throw them away!) the baby toys are away in a box waiting for Baby lydia to be big enough to play with them and they only watch grown up catoons like 'scooby do' and 'tom and jerry' - not fireman sam or waybuloo!!!  Too babyish apparently!
My baby years are fast disappearing, they don't even smell as nice as they used to!  No1 son's room is taking on a slight whiff of teenager!!

And as much as I like this grown up independence - you don't need to cart half as much stuff around, conversations are more animated, no more silly singsong voices, you can do more/ go more places - I do still miss the total reliance on 'mummy'
So when the diva came creeping into my bed after having a nightmare and cuddled up next to me I felt slightly smug - she does still need me. And when No1 son came in crying after falling down and grazing his knee and needing a hug and kiss I didn't say No!!

I suppose I will always be needed to wash, cook, clean and taxi around, but I will also always be needed for cuddles, kisses and reassurance just under their steam now not mine, So no matter how 'big' they get, my babies will always be my babies.
My children are independent spirits who I know will make their own way in the world, safe in the instilled knowledge (from me!) that they can achieve anything they set their minds to and if it does go wrong 'mummy' will be their to help pick up the pieces and kiss it better.  (well probably! I might have retired to my caribbean island by then! a girl can dream!!)

My Dad says you need to give your children two things in life - roots and wings.
Roots, so they know where they are from and a grounding in life and wings so that they can have dreams and fly.  And as hard as it is to let your babies go you have to start doing it at an early age, all those little signs of independence just mean you are doing a bloody good job! (I think) xx