My mum was diagnosed with vasillitus - a disease so minute and deadly that it affects only one in 10 million people! (she does like to feel special my mum1) It basically attacks your smaller weaker organs like sight smell, taste before moving on to your blood and your larger organs, liver, kidneys etc....
She went to bed on Christmas Day 2011 and didn't really get out of bed till March 2012!!!! We had a couple of stays in hospital, blood transfusions, steroids, biopsies, then a course of anti rejection drugs to stop her kidneys failing completely.
The woman facing me in the bed was not my mother but something I can only describe as "a poor unfortunate soul" swallowed up by the wicked sea witch in the little mermaid!!!!! A shadow of her former self that couldn't sea properly, hear properly or form a sentence (no dribbling thank god!). She lost weight, and was generally as weak as a kitten and in an awful lot of pain where her blood was attacking her body internally - basically all her insides were trying their damndest to become her outsides!!
And to be honest it freaked me out.
This once strong, independent woman was laying relying on others not able to do a damn thing. Where was my rock?
Fortunately angels in the guise of doctors performed a minor miracle and the one in 10000000000000000000000 disease was under control - for now!!!!! not cured just controlled!
Then a few months later my dad fell off a ladder doing the gardening (don't ask!!) and broke ribs, a small bone in his back, had terrible bruising and was in an enormous amount of pain. So much so that a few days after being discharged from hospital we had to again call an ambulance as he was unable to breathe properly or move at all - he was flat on his back doing a kind of fish out of water impression with his mouth as he couldn't physically find the words to express the pain he was in - well nothing I could write here anyway .... potty mouth!!!!!!!!
Again it freaked me out but in a different way - this time I found it hilarious as well as highly disthurbing! My big strong daddy was laying there like a small child crying in pain asking anyone to make it stop. Again the angels in white coats fixed him up and sent him on his merry way - tramadol is a wonderful thing x
But these two incidents really brought home the fact that my parents are not immortal! they hurt, they bleed, they cry.
Mortality is a peculiar thing! Im not ready for my parents to leave this mortal coil. Im not grown up enough......
Rather selfish I hear you cry, but honestly as well as the emotional support they give me and the fact
that I love them to bits, I need them for practical reasons!!!!
Who will help me with the mess I call a garden (dad thinks he's Percy Thrower - I have no idea who he is talking about either!!) Who will help me explain football to No1 son (certainly not darling hubby as I think I understand the off side rule better than he does)
Who am I going to call in the middle of the day when i am at the end of my tether with the kids, or hubby for that matter! Who will give me advise on cooking, fixing, mending etc..... My parents have yet to teach me everything!!!!
I'm still mediocre mum not super mum!!!!!!!!
I have never thought of my parents as old - they are just ...........there.
Logically they are the next generation to wear the white feather wings, but who thinks about their parents logically!!!
I lost my grandad at the age of six years old - No 1 son will be six next month and the thought of him without his grumps scares me.
However, even though I still feel mentally like a toddler at times therewas a moment during the whole illness /injury malarky where I thought to myself "hang on, Im the grown up here, my parents are relying on me for help'" and in a roaring whoosh the circle of life/teaching was complete!!! No longer the helpless babe in arms relying on my parents for the whole day to day necessities but 'woman in charge' - I've got the power (Sang in SNAP styleee)
I had a vision - fast forward thirty odd years and its me lying in the hospital for one illness or another and there are my grown up children with their own families, fussing round the bed, arguing with the nurse etc....
Huge reality check needed here ..........OMG my two adorable rat finks will be in charge of me!!
HMMMMMMM might need to rethink the rules and regulations of the house after all they really will pick my nursing home!! After all I remember when my mum grounded me for being half an hour late and when my dad made me scrub the drive because I had drawn a chalk hop scotch on it and the time ....... the list is endless, maybe that swish all singing all dancing nursing home will be replaced with a little trip to Switzerland - Dignitas anyone?????
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