weigh in?????

So, following a rather overindulgent festive season eating everything in sight (well the weeks leading up to crimbo and christmas day anyway!!!)  it seems my muffin top has turned into a rather large fruit cake!! Thank god I had the flu from boxing day and was incapable of eating any more celebrations!!!! otherwise we could have been looking at a sugar loaf mountain around my middle!!

I did actually contemplate going into the loft to look for my maternity jeans when my stretch jeans sort of puckered and then didn't ping back!!!!  but NO instead I made a dreaded resolution.......'I will loose weight!'

Shock , horror I hear you cry (not for losing weight of course, I have done it before, I just prefer the curvy version on me!!) For those who know know me well understand what a big deal this is......... I NEVER make resolutions.  In my opinion they are a complete waste of time.  They are generally made in the heat of the moment and broken two weeks later leaving you depressed, grumpy and guilty - who actually needs to add this sort of misery to January where is cold, miserable and no-one has money!!!. Anyway I'm catholic, we come with in-built guilt, who needs to add more!

So, back to my decision to loose a few pounds and inches - notice how I didn't use that four letter rude word 'd**t'!
Ive decided that its all about cutting back , exercising and staying sane. Instead of shocking my body by depriving it of things that will make it happy (hey, I have two full on kids that regularly leave me broken on a sobbing heap on the floor. I cant give up everything that makes life bearable, come on!!) I will lull it into a false sense of security by cutting back!!

The fridge is looking slightly more barren and the fruit bowl if filled with a plethora of vivid colours making it more appealing, the only snacks in the house are the ones that the kids like and things that I wont touch with a barge pole.  My wine fridge is half empty (like my outlook on life during these times of austerity!!) and there must be at least 4 alcohol free days a week - come Friday I deserve a glass or two and if the weekend is not assistted by a wine buffer I really will have a mental breakdown!

The dog thinks its Christmas all over again as he's getting a brisk walk every day for at least 45 mins (its still parky out there remember!) usually accompanied by my ipod - funny story, thought the field was empty so started to sing along to 'Kings of Leon' at the top of my lungs only to discover the field was not as empty as I first thought!! Such a Miranda moment!!!

My friend - and I use the term loosely at the moment, more sadist if i'm honest - made me accompany her to a callenetics class twice in one week.. OH MY DAYS! the horror , the pain, muscles are not ment to hurt like that!!! bum muscles screamed at me for a week every time I tried to bend my legs!! And for all you gym bunnies out there who say 'feel the burn' and 'no pain, no gain' what is WRONG with you people!!!!!OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!!!!! I am using capitals to emphasise my point, the same with the exclamation marks - it hurt..   but apparently its good for me and therefore I will be going back next week (sob!!)

All good stuff, i can hear you thinking, bravo that girl, a healthy attitude to have, pat on the back......... but here we are, three weeks into january and I can feel myself slipping - it doesnt really count if I have a small glass of wine on a Wednesday after all it is 'hump day' and the 3/4 hour walk was only 1/2 hour today in the snow - health and safety always at the forefront of my mind. The diva didn't finish all her breakfast crumpet, such a waste to throw food away! That chicken salad would be so much more apealing with a sprinkle of ceaser dressing on the top!! Can't really stop for lunch as have too much to do so a flapjack and latte will do - after all it is made of oats!!

I think I need someone walking behind me with a microphone 'oi, fatty, step away from the cake!!' otherwise weight watchers will come along, plant a flag in my belly button and claim the sugar loaf mountain as a conquest!!!!

Honestly, my biggest problem is will power - or my lack of it!  I can quite easily say no to my children, very easily say no to my hubby but when faced with a nice glass of wine, peanuts, pretzels, cake, icecream , etcccc..... i never say no to myself!!! 
Maybe my resolution should have been to have more will power, to learn how to stay strong in the face of temptation, to just say no - in the style of grange hill for those that remember!!!!
Thats it, my resolution will be to empower myself, to be more assertive, to laugh in the face of danger (have you ever got between my daughter and a chocolate bar) to overcome vice...............

Psssst, see how I have already talked myself out of the whole weight loss/diet thang!!! Piece of cake!!!