Its seven p.m, I'm frazzled from school runs, tidying, cleaning, ironing, sorting both bath and bed time, dealing with homework and tantrums when the phone rings ......
All I really want to do is dive under the duvet and forget the day but instead I plaster on a fake smile, answer the phone and proceed to tell hubby a censored version of the day!!! No point moaning too much as he's hundreds of miles away working as is probably just as tired (I use the term loosely!!!) Is this modern parenting I ask myself?
Part time marriages are on the rise and many of us have no choice but to accept the fact! I have many friends who's hubbies work away from one or two nights a week to months at a time. The economy is in such a state that sometimes its just too hard to say no to the jobs that take our nearest and dearest away from us!!
But lets look at the positives, we get the whole bed to ourselves, no snoring warthog next to us - bliss!!! we are in control of the remote (well thats the norm in our house any way!) And yes we can eat fish finger sandwiches for dinner instead of catering for a man who likes a 'proper' cooked dinner (like he's Jamie Oliver in the kitchen!!!!)
There are times when I get fed up of coping on my own, when I'm too tired to put the bins out or walk the dog (usually done with two whingey children in tow!) when I fancy a take away or when the kids are crying for their daddy and asking why he cant come home.
There are times when I phone him at my wits end with the kids and are met with the sounds of a 'pub' in the back ground or he is just too busy to really talk!!
There are times when I would like to go out or organise something with my friends but it doesnt fit with his work diary!!!!
So yes, 'no (wo)mans land' can be difficult to cope with, feeling like a single parent but not being one!! Im lucky its not a weekly occurance in this house, but I've noticed that the wash bag is out alot more often lately!!!.
Then theres another problem, its easy to paint a picture of a 'leaping into each others arms' type of reunion on hubbies return, however in reality my blood starts to boil being presented by a bag of laundry, full of clothes covered with blobs of restaurant food that he hasn't had too cook!!!!! My hackles rise when the kids routines are interfered with or he does something that means I have to step in!!!! It's chaos. But I have to remind myself that this is the normal side of life and he's probably trying his best!!
Its sooooo important to have a good network of friends and family around you especially during the 'trying' times - like running out of milk when the kids are already in their P.J.s ready for bed or when one has a an after school club, the other has a birthday party, the dog has a vets appointment and the car needs an MOT!!! aaarrrrggghhhhhhhhhhh!!! How full time single parents do it I just cant imagine, they deserve a medal!
Maybe on his next trip away I can persuade hubby to take his laudry to his mothers, after all its important to make these part time partnerships a family affair!
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